mid-day tuesday

i had a dream last night that my mother had died. i was in a sprawling, never-ending mansion; i apparently knew my way around very well.

there was an old woman there in a victorian dress. she was talking to me about music, and played me a strange electronic song on her phonograph.

something in the chord progression, a repetition of notes in a minor key, reminded me of my mother's passing. i started sobbing,

uncontrollably, apologizing as i ran off to hide in a room full of moss, knowing i had to just let it come, just feel the emotions.

this morning when i woke up, the room was dark and i felt sad and unrested. my eyes were stinging from the tears i cried in my sleep.

supposedly, when you dream of someone you know dying, it means that they'll outlive you.

the sun is out now. i wish i could change my emotions as quickly as the weather changes hers.

fall from love

i'm all things
to all men,
to the other girl
i might have been.
just a sweetish scent
of rum on breath,
i still sit up
each time I smell it,
i smell your perfume
every day.

i dreamed of sadness
as you kissed me
tried to steal me
from this past,
and all the nothings
you could offer?--
just a blur
as you sped off,
disappeared
into the evening.
i lose your face more
every day.

that feathertouch,
your yellow eyes--
they're gone now
and I'm not your lover
gone now, and
i never was;
i was just boots
and one night dancing
to make it so
we couldn't sleep.
and I sleep well now
every day.

spice of life

i'm going to make more soup keep my toenails clipped paint mini paintings drink more zin ride a bike around stockholm grow nasturtiums on my porch (and eat them) learn to love medium format keep the bathtub clean do more karaoke read more books and take my vitamins.

soup sched

pardon the weird html...

sun	mon	tue	wed	thu	fri	sat
1/4 broccoli onion	1/5 zucchini garlic basil	1/6 cabbage onion celery	1/7 bok choy ginger garlic	1/8 beets cabbage onion celery	1/9 spinach onion curry	1/10 celery onion
1/11 brussels shallots	1/12 kale onion lemon cayenne garlic	1/13 asparagus celery onion garlic spinach	1/14 carrot curry ginger collard	1/15 fennel onion garlic basil	1/16 leeks spinach	1/17 mustard greens ginger garlic onion
1/18 cauliflower shallots	1/19 collard onion pepper garlic	1/20 spinach ginger lime basil garlic	1/21 broccoli onion	1/22 beets kale onion	1/23 zucchini garlic basil	1/24 carrot collard curry ginger

fasting time

it seems like every january i feel the need to try a new detox. this time, i'm going to try to freestyle the martha's vineyard detox: i had several coworkers do it a year ago and they were very happy with the results. me, i've been trying to drop sugar for a while now, and i find the more i want sugar, the more i want salt as well. keeping my log at the daily plate, i've noticed my sodium intake hover at 2 to 3 times the recommended levels. bah.

so it's smoothies and soup for me. onward, acai! gogi! noni! and carrot!

needed for fast:

• Garden Greens - Berry


• Enzyme tablets


• Hemp Protein

xmas cookies!

this was my first year baking christmas cookies, especially of the vegan persuasion.

the gingersnaps kicked ass...i used this recipe, but added chopped up candied ginger pieces and put a salt and sugar topping on it—i like my gingersnaps salty!

the snickerdoodles needed work. for one, they needed a real egg substitute, because they came out too dry...good for coffee, but you can’t always expect coffee with your snickerdoodles. i think i would add 1/2 an overripe banana (for 4x the recipe), add 1/4 to 1/2 a tsp of kala namak, and probably some more flour/corn starch to make up for the extra wetness.

then the shortbread...it’s good, as shortbread goes, but i think it needed more earl gray as that was the flavor i was going for. (i used 2 tbsp in place of the cocoa for the batch, but i feel like i should’ve doubled that—the cocoa was only for half a batch, after all.) and definitely should not have cooked as long.

still experimenting on the vegan benedict, mostly mentally. i’d had an incarnation of it at fellini’s in berkeley, but that was severely disappointing: way too salty, over a weird tofu scramble, and the bread they served it on was absolutely nasty. tia, my resident benedict expert, has offered to help me perfect a hollandaise sauce, so i need to figure out how to make a poached tofu "egg" to put it on. and maybe i need butter flavoring?

conference call

done with the system
we’ll just stay here
there’s been a change
this is not a new condition
we can require them to mention
other areas where we are going to notice
a thousand dollars
some people just have good rapport
and others are bored with the words
coming out of their mouths
if that’s the case, it is the burden
of every single year
as conditions change
the final rule pretty clearly states
no, you cannot.

october 5th, huh...

been awhile.

still cooking, but not so many photos...

cinnamon infused vodka

thyme-agave dipping sauce


(for pears, apples, manchego...)



been getting into more DIY: made my own cedar-scented laundry detergent today. towels are in the dryer now, so we'll find out how well it did soon.

next?


deodorant
apple cider vinegar shampoo
(really wanting to get away from topical chemicals)
string lampshades
crackers
electroforming
etching