mid-day tuesday

i had a dream last night that my mother had died. i was in a sprawling, never-ending mansion; i apparently knew my way around very well.

there was an old woman there in a victorian dress. she was talking to me about music, and played me a strange electronic song on her phonograph.

something in the chord progression, a repetition of notes in a minor key, reminded me of my mother's passing. i started sobbing,

uncontrollably, apologizing as i ran off to hide in a room full of moss, knowing i had to just let it come, just feel the emotions.

this morning when i woke up, the room was dark and i felt sad and unrested. my eyes were stinging from the tears i cried in my sleep.

supposedly, when you dream of someone you know dying, it means that they'll outlive you.

the sun is out now. i wish i could change my emotions as quickly as the weather changes hers.

fall from love

i'm all things
to all men,
to the other girl
i might have been.
just a sweetish scent
of rum on breath,
i still sit up
each time I smell it,
i smell your perfume
every day.

i dreamed of sadness
as you kissed me
tried to steal me
from this past,
and all the nothings
you could offer?--
just a blur
as you sped off,
disappeared
into the evening.
i lose your face more
every day.

that feathertouch,
your yellow eyes--
they're gone now
and I'm not your lover
gone now, and
i never was;
i was just boots
and one night dancing
to make it so
we couldn't sleep.
and I sleep well now
every day.

spice of life

i'm going to make more soup keep my toenails clipped paint mini paintings drink more zin ride a bike around stockholm grow nasturtiums on my porch (and eat them) learn to love medium format keep the bathtub clean do more karaoke read more books and take my vitamins.

soup sched

pardon the weird html...

sun	mon	tue	wed	thu	fri	sat
1/4 broccoli onion	1/5 zucchini garlic basil	1/6 cabbage onion celery	1/7 bok choy ginger garlic	1/8 beets cabbage onion celery	1/9 spinach onion curry	1/10 celery onion
1/11 brussels shallots	1/12 kale onion lemon cayenne garlic	1/13 asparagus celery onion garlic spinach	1/14 carrot curry ginger collard	1/15 fennel onion garlic basil	1/16 leeks spinach	1/17 mustard greens ginger garlic onion
1/18 cauliflower shallots	1/19 collard onion pepper garlic	1/20 spinach ginger lime basil garlic	1/21 broccoli onion	1/22 beets kale onion	1/23 zucchini garlic basil	1/24 carrot collard curry ginger

fasting time

it seems like every january i feel the need to try a new detox. this time, i'm going to try to freestyle the martha's vineyard detox: i had several coworkers do it a year ago and they were very happy with the results. me, i've been trying to drop sugar for a while now, and i find the more i want sugar, the more i want salt as well. keeping my log at the daily plate, i've noticed my sodium intake hover at 2 to 3 times the recommended levels. bah.

so it's smoothies and soup for me. onward, acai! gogi! noni! and carrot!

needed for fast:

• Garden Greens - Berry


• Enzyme tablets


• Hemp Protein

xmas cookies!

this was my first year baking christmas cookies, especially of the vegan persuasion.

the gingersnaps kicked ass...i used this recipe, but added chopped up candied ginger pieces and put a salt and sugar topping on it—i like my gingersnaps salty!

the snickerdoodles needed work. for one, they needed a real egg substitute, because they came out too dry...good for coffee, but you can’t always expect coffee with your snickerdoodles. i think i would add 1/2 an overripe banana (for 4x the recipe), add 1/4 to 1/2 a tsp of kala namak, and probably some more flour/corn starch to make up for the extra wetness.

then the shortbread...it’s good, as shortbread goes, but i think it needed more earl gray as that was the flavor i was going for. (i used 2 tbsp in place of the cocoa for the batch, but i feel like i should’ve doubled that—the cocoa was only for half a batch, after all.) and definitely should not have cooked as long.

still experimenting on the vegan benedict, mostly mentally. i’d had an incarnation of it at fellini’s in berkeley, but that was severely disappointing: way too salty, over a weird tofu scramble, and the bread they served it on was absolutely nasty. tia, my resident benedict expert, has offered to help me perfect a hollandaise sauce, so i need to figure out how to make a poached tofu "egg" to put it on. and maybe i need butter flavoring?

conference call

done with the system
we’ll just stay here
there’s been a change
this is not a new condition
we can require them to mention
other areas where we are going to notice
a thousand dollars
some people just have good rapport
and others are bored with the words
coming out of their mouths
if that’s the case, it is the burden
of every single year
as conditions change
the final rule pretty clearly states
no, you cannot.

october 5th, huh...

been awhile.

still cooking, but not so many photos...

cinnamon infused vodka

thyme-agave dipping sauce


(for pears, apples, manchego...)



been getting into more DIY: made my own cedar-scented laundry detergent today. towels are in the dryer now, so we'll find out how well it did soon.

next?


deodorant
apple cider vinegar shampoo
(really wanting to get away from topical chemicals)
string lampshades
crackers
electroforming
etching

simple sugars

i've been a bee lately.
my first job is to make money. my second is to spend it.
my latest toy
(a scooter)
has bruised my ankle, and it's swollen up like
a mini ankle balloon!
as for me, i am fine, i know sharing isn't communism
and other such wise-ities
from a superlative day.

stream of consciousness

inspired by charissa

when it's 1 o'clock and the air
smells like cookies
and i hide in my bhurka of hoodies
and fashionable scarves
i stare at the red grass that sits on
my mantle
and wonder why the grass on the right
is so much more dead
and the weight shifts to my feet and
the pressure in my numb toes
the wind was cold tonight
and my tongue was so slow
and the food was all meat so
i was all rice
being eurasian is such a strange conflict
it's like the way a frozen grape seems to
pop across your tongue
but not quite
(i don't think anything is really like that except
for a frozen grape, really)
and when i stare outside at the
1 o'clock darkness it seems like
all i can see is my failed porch-type garden
the sweet peas and hostas
that never quite made it
how will i ever be an artist
if my flowers won't grow?
and if i'm always in retrograde
how will i ever?

still eating quite regularly...

today's breakfast, green curry tofu scramble:


french green beans, onions, garlic, and trumpet mushrooms, stir fried in a green-curry spiked coconut oil with (super firm) tofu. (the french green beans add the "green" flavor you're looking for but are sweeter than the snake beans you're supposed to use.)

and since i recently got re-excited about green curry thanks to Anna's pie & thai house party, here's just the coconut curry:


again with green beans, garlic, onions, and green curry, but this time adding japanese eggplant and all boiled in green curry and vegetable broth. poured in coconut milk (2/3 can) at the end, and served with baby basmati rice. (which is delicious, but very very dense.)

on the side, a soy curls, romaine, mung bean sprout, and mandarin salad with a peanut vinaigrette:


not so into the soy curls. i marinated them in the vinaigrette (peanut oil, rice vinegar, garlic, ginger, and veggie broth) for about an hour beforehand. they have a very distinct processed soy flavor, like the aftertaste in tofutti, maybe greasier? in any case, it lingers too long in your mouth, and so far i haven't found a way to cover it up. half a bag left before i get to give up...i spent $6 on those things at sidecar pigs for peace when in seattle for bumbershoot, so i don't get to just toss them. (yes, i'm cheap.)

another recent addiction to the menu is cashew alfredo, adapted from tofu mom's blog. i found it while on a search for a vegan benedict sauce, a future adventure that i've enlisted my benedict specialist friend Tia to help with.


it's not really all that adapted, honestly. on my second time making it, i just added about 1/4 tsp of cardamom and 1/2 a tsp of salt, which made an insane amount of difference. this night i served it with red pepper spaghetti noodles, artichoke hearts, great northern beans, and cherry tomatoes. not to mention generous amounts of fresh ground pepper, because i'm a pepper fiend.

other things on the radar?

at today's farmer's market, i got edible flowers, pea shoots, and 5 pounds of grapes (among other things). pea shoots will invariably become some sort of stir fry, and the grapes will likely be snacked up before i have a chance to do anything with them. the flowers, however...

my aunt used to throw tea parties a lot when i was a kid, and her favorite thing to do was add random things you'd never think to eat to the menu. nasturtiums, candied pansies, lavender, and marigolds were some of her favorites. thinking about eating flowers still makes me unreasonably happy, so i'm brainstorming...

sweet potato biscuits, bloody bunny

heat oven to 450.

mix 1 cup + 2 tbsp unsweetened soy milk with
2 tbsp soy creamer and
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
set aside.

boil 1 large sweet potato until soft, remove skin and mash. (should be about 1 cup mashed).
whisk with soured soy milk.

whisk 2 1/2 cups unbleached flour with
5 tsp baking powder and
4 tbsp (turbinado) sugar.

cut 11 tbsp vegetable shortening in flour mix until "pebbly."
fold in sweet potato mixture, knead until fully wet.

drop onto parchment paper on baking sheet.

cook for approximately 15 minutes, until golden brown.

makes about 12.

per one:

Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
245	14g	0mg	214mg	27g	4g	1g	1g

bloody bunny

a drink inspired by three things:
1. not a fan of tomato juice
2. bloody marys aren't vegan (anchovy extract in worchester sauce, mayo in store bought horseradish...)
3. black carrot juice!

i mixed it rather small for tastes, but i imagine it working this way:

1 cup black carrot juice
2 tbsp basalmic vinegar
1 1/2 tbsp tamari
1/2-1 tsp hot sauce (cholula)
2-3 oz vodka
ice
black pepper to taste
pickled/unpickled veggies to garnish (cornichons, dilly beans, cherry tomatoes, pearl onions, etc.)

in spite of *claiming* i wanted to write,

i have gotten in the habit of just posting food. yes, i have become a foodie. it's true: i wake up thinking about what i am going to eat for dinner.

got to spend a (surprisingly) very relaxing weekend in seattle. though i am sore still from wii boxing my brother and spending all day on my feet at bumbershoot, the fresh picked blackberries, chatting with my grandma about how much we hate bowling, seeing neko case, and sweet potato biscuits more than made up for it.

thankfully, sfo has welcomed me back with beautiful blue skies and the ferry building farmer's market. life feels pretty good right now...

espana y russi

paella:

borscht:
oh, and donut peach cobbler:

aunt april's rum raisin mousse, take one

1 cup raisins
3/4 cup rum

1 cup raw cashews
1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk
1 tbsp coconut oil
1 tsp vanilla extract

12 oz light silken tofu
6 tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 1/2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1/4 tsp turmeric

combine 1 cup raisins and 3/4 cup rum, to begin the soaking.

combine cashews, soy milk, coconut oil, and vanilla extract in blender. blend to a nut butter. set aside.

pour 1/4 cup of the rum from the raisins and the sugar into the blender. blend for 2 minutes, scraping the sides occasionally. add pumpkin pie spice, nutritional yeast, and turmeric. blend 1 minute, then add tofu. puree until mixed completely through.

add in 1/3 cup cashew butter, blend til smooth. add in another 1/3, blend; add in remainder, blend.

pour in remaining rum from raisins. blend until smooth, then pour into medium sized bowl. fold in raisins, cover, and put into freezer for 1 hour.

makes 1 quart (eight 1/2 cup servings).

per 1/2 cup:

Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
269	9g	0mg	44mg	29g	24g	2g	7g

cookerings

tofu ricotta stuffed cannelloni in cherry tomato sauce:


celariac chowder with pomegranate wine seitan:


spicy eggplant:

santa mierda!

not to brag or anything, but...

this dia de los muertos, i will be in punta el custodio, sleeping in this house:


and my personal chef, Ismael, will be preparing me comidas deliciosas grown in the bountiful surrounding lands.

also, the coffee is roasted, like, an hour away. so it's pretty fresh.

sometimes, my life is pretty awesome.

anise flatbread

1 3/4 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup olive oil plus more for brushing

4 tsp unbleached cane sugar
1 tbsp (+) anise seeds

whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.

add water and olive oil and mix in thoroughly.

divide into 4 equal balls.

flatten balls as thin as possible without leaving holes on aluminum foiled pans. (i'm sure parchment paper would be better, but i didn't have any.)

spread 1 tsp sugar across tops of each piece. sprinkle anise liberally.

spray with olive oil. bake at 400 until edges are brown.

Per 1:	Calories	Fat	Sodium	Carbs	Sugar	Protein	Fiber
	389	19g	291mg	49g	6g	2g	1g

adapted from this recipe.

french toast

::recipe::

oh, covetous heart

dear self,

don't be makin' stupid resolutions like that last 8-minute-videos one.

that was just dumb.

self challenge:

8 minute abs + buns every day for the next 2 months.

16 minutes ain't so long...

birthday tea

Menu:
Scones & clotted cream
Mini broccoli cheddar quiches
Mushroom risotto
Tomato bisque
Chickpea pitas
Bacon-wrapped apples
Pinwheel sandwich wraps
Salad

Dessert:
Bergamot & vanilla cupcakes
Chocolate & cherry cupcakes

vive

my life is a whirl of "i wish the week was over" and "i'm so glad it's friday."

no wonder time is going so fast.

beer bread, old bay, and bobbie's lentils

currently, my second loaf of this beer bread
is in the oven. it's an ugly loaf, but super tasty. i used a hefewiezen for my beer, and brown sugar. fantastic! especially with some margarine...

i've been using tons of old bay lately. i read about it in veganyumyum's blog, and shortly thereafter found myself in a quaint fish shop looking for bottled water, and saw it. i was very excited at the time, though since then i've actually found it at whole foods. i put a dash of it in a lentil dish based loosely off of my old boss bobbie's favorite dinner, and it helped unbland the french green lentils and wilted spinach. (trader joe's chili pepper sauce helped as well.)

just:
saute a crushed garlic clove, 2 chopped green onions, and 1/2 tsp of old bay in 1/2 tbsp olive oil for 3-5 minutes. add 1 cup dry french green lentils and coat in the oil. stir for 1-2 minutes.

pour in 2 cups water, cover. simmer at medium high heat, adding water as needed for 30 minutes.

add enough water so the lentils are slightly soupy at the end of the 30 minutes, and pour into a large bowl. add handfuls of raw spinach, folding into the lentils. add another 1/2 tsp old bay seasoning and 1/2 tsp chili pepper sauce, and mix thoroughly. eat!

almost done baking for the weekend. just need to blend up a tofu omelet mixture for the marinated veggies...

oh, sage!

when you discover a new favorite spice, it's magical.


driving down the 1 yesterday in the warm sea air, the fennel and the sage wafted through the spider's topless convertableness.


slice the fennel bulb, the sage, a medium onion, and some crushed garlic, spray with olive oil and bake for 20 minutes at 400.

today i had leftovers over portabella mushrooms, and mixed in with bruschetta and israeli couscous.

leg sunburns

are distracting when you pee.

when your pants are down around your knees, and you notice the flaking skin, it's hard not to try and take some of it off.

no one wants to look like a leper.

bean pate

i got a can of giant white beans from falletti foods, with the intention of making a pate. so i scoured the internet for pate recipes to see what i could do to make it taste really pate-like, and not just like a bean dip.

my ideas so far:
bean pate bianchi di spagna pate
saute
2 minced thinly sliced shallots
1/2 tsp crushed garlic
2 3 chopped green onions
in
1 tbsp olive oil
put in blender, blend to chop up finer
add
1/2 tsp truffle oil
2 3 tbsp pinot grigio
1/4 cup 6 tbsp earth balance
giant white beans, drained and rinsed
and blend to complete smoothness

put in covered bowl and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

i may or may not include some agar-agar. i'll have to see how i feel/how easily i can find it.


wound up using the agar-agar. i had flakes from a feta experiment a long time ago, so i put 1 tbsp flakes + 1/4 cup water in the blender. i alternated letting it sit a couple minutes, and running the blender on high for a minute, (while sauteeing the veggies) then put into a small pot with another 2 cups water and brought it to a boil. i reduced the heat to medium-high and did a low boil until the flakes were dissolved (i did do a little whisking) and the water reduced to 1 cup. i then poured it in the blender with the bean mixture and did a high blend.

i poured the mixture into a glass loaf pan with a thin layer of black pepper along the bottom, covered, and put in the fridge.

it smells amazing, but i'm too full of thai food to eat it right now, so i'm going to have to wait until later.

::update::
it's good, but a little mild. it needed mustard (which i always ate with pate, anyways). i think next time i'll try a more flavorful bean, or maybe just use more seasonings.

yield: 3 cups pate; nutrition: per 1/4 cup

Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
95	7g	0mg	199mg	7g	0g	2g	2g

potato salad and jalapeno poppers

this was a very successful experiment. no one could tell it was vegan, which is what i was going for. it tasted just like my grandma's, too, which was always part of the 4th of July for me.

5-6 medium russet potatoes, boiled for 30 minutes and skinned, chopped into bite-sized pieces

aside, mixed
1/4 tsp turmeric
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tbsp tapioca starch (or potato)
1/4 tsp salt
with
1 cup vegan mayo
2 tbsp soy milk
1 tbsp tahini
1/4 cup sweet pickle relish
3-4 chopped green onions

and combined with the potato pieces.

covered and let set in the fridge for a while. garnished with ground pepper.

yield: 1 gallon salad; nutrition: per 1 cup

Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
105	4g	0mg	137mg	14g	10g	1g	2g

i also made jalapeno poppers, which had a great flavor but were a little hot.

hollowed jalapenos, just caps cut off and deseeded, about 12
then mixed
1 container of tofutti better than cream cheese
1.5 oz of high protein tofu, crumbled completely into little grains (for texture)
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp crushed garlic
2 green onions, chopped
and filled the peppers with the mixture.

i feel they would've been better breaded and fried than grilled, which is what we did. grilled is good, but you got a lot of pepper in a bite.

yield: 12 poppers; nutrition: per 1

Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
92	5g	0mg	1236mg	10g	2g	0g	1g

i have *got* to try this.

"apricot vanilla bean pate de fruit," stumbled upon at cannelle-vanille.blogspot.com while looking for bean pate recipes. nummmmm...

if you've never fired anyone

or been responsible for getting someone fired, you will never
understand how much this messes with you...

tonight

i am getting drunk at home with cheap ass whiskey and ginger ale.


wanna come over??

bored and boring

pub food dinner, vegan bleu cheeseburger (wot!) with fries and balsamic mushroom n onion stirfry.


and angelcots, if you haven't had one, are AMAZING.

when i'm boring, all i think about is food.

oy, chest pain.

mornings downtown

every time i get off the N and make my way up the escalators, walking on the left, people standing on the right...

when you get that first big whiff of piss, i imagine some smiling dirty bum urinating on the moving escalator rail, watching his pee go down with the gravity but up with the motion...

and i take my hand off the rail.

someday i'm going to fall and hurt myself. stupid imagination.

a song for the lonely

it was the little things;
the unhooked shower rings,
it was the toilet seat up

it was the bigger things;
the drunken shatterings,
it was the constant flare ups

it was the everyday life,
it was the everyday life...
i won't forget i loved him,
but my patience wore thin:
i won't forget i love him,
but you can't always win

june

is not a good month for lovers.

if i was a rock star

i would want to sound like this:

sake

rolling fogs bring in
thoughts of asia food and wine
craving their comfort

i'm going through another asian food kick...tonight was marnee thai's pumpkin red curry, and home to cuddle with a bottle of unfiltered sake.



sake makes my cheeks warm on cold summer nights.

tonight we see how well fusion runs netflix on-demand.

cancer sniffing canines?

...what?

in other news,
the mac i've been taunted with at work has finally come true! parallels is gone, fusion in its stead, and it's completely set up as a business machine with the best screen savers ever. i <3 vmware.

spicy eggplant

i started with:

1 tbsp olive oil
4 frozen chinese chillies
1" fresh peeled and diced ginger root
1 tbsp tj's crushed garlic

and sauteed it on low heat in a wok for 4 minutes while i diced

2/3 japanese eggplant
a handful fresh basil leaves
green onions

and added to the sauteed oil mix, trying to coat all of the eggplant with it

cooked on high heat until the eggplant was slightly browned, then took

2 tsp better than bouillon dissolved in 2 cups water

and poured it into the eggplant mixture, covering with a lid

while i waited for this to steam, i got distracted and set off our super-sensitive smoke alarm. steam sets off our smoke alarm. poor guinness...

i pulled out the chillies, and served. it's awesome, too spicy for the boy, but he enjoyed the adzuki beans with coconut milk i also made for dinner.

kovocas

so i found one of these at a garage sale:
(the one on the right -->)

perfect condition, only missing the charger holder.

fast foward 2 months, when i'm wandering around the neighborhood with my mom in tow, and go into an estate sale. after never having seen one of these before, i found another (albeit in bad condition) at an estate sale, WITH a charger holder.

and finally managed to remember to pick up cartridges for it, this last weekend in the haight. tried it, and for some reason it didn't work so well. it made the water taste minerally, almost milky, and sweet.


basically, i didn't realize that the cartridges that they sold me were for whipits. and to further my ignorance, i didn't realize that whipits were NO2, and not CO2. i made whipit water. woot.

oh yeah, and

this is now mine:


and the plans are:

rain

we were talking about our first days again this morning;
hiding in an old out-of-gas Mercedes eating leftover pad thai in a deserted downtown district, driving through the rain in ballard listening to nick drake, all the tears and all the QFC wine...

it kindof rubs a bit of salt into the recent wounding realization that there's really no going back. i've actually been a little homesick for seattle and its mellow madness, but it's not my city anymore; it's just a wash of summers, running in the rain, and cheap hideaways. something inside of me wanted to grow up down here, and come back to a place i could call home, but as san francisco is feeling smaller i'm wondering if i'll just always be displaced.

happy place

lucky

every day people get caught off guard
they cross the street and aren't noticed by a driver
or get cocky and bike around someone talking on their cell phone
or years of overeating and underactivity build up and culminate in a fatal heart attack
or just years of living take them to a more peaceful place without the aches and pains
or for no reason at all they just disappear

today was not one of those days for me

everyone i know is fine.

mate

if chocolate tasted like steamed kale, i wouldn't be craving it right now. not that steamed kale isn't delicious, it's just not comforting and dark and lovely.

i think this calls for more "guayaki yerba mate chocolatte." not quite the same but 100% fewer calories.

dear vege ginger chicken,

you came highly recommended, and therefore left me highly disappointed. i stared at you in the freezer for days, afraid of your modest serving size (2 oz? seriously?) and high caloric content. today, too lazy to walk to whole foods for something else and too cheap as well, i zapped you in the microwave for 2 1/2 minutes, as recommended on the box.

you were too sweet, too chewy, a little too gooey, and not flavorful enough. i have never enjoyed seitan so little and used so many calories at the same time.

shame on you, vege ginger chicken. and now i have 50% of the package (2.625 servings) left that i'm going to have to eat or toss tomorrow. double shame.

at least i have some frozen edamame for a snack later, to make it up to my growling and unsatisfied belly.

L

ms. housewife, why can't you
lay back for a while, or
go out and dance?

i need the photos to prove
you left the kitchen and
went outside

sometimes i look and see
something i wish i had,
but often not

because even where you are,
you're no more happy
than i am.

me

i love so heavy
two minutes a day
should have made it by now
but i've been lost in
day-to-day doldrums
raised in seattle
grew up in francisco
would have faded by now
but disappearing's not simple

places we've lived

maple valley
steilacoom
SE 118th
tacoma
magnolia
queen anne, third time
basement, u district
portage bay
beach, santa barbara
the tropicana
31st & judah
south park
fife on the river
jason's place on belvedere
sabotoch, montclaire
radio tower shadows

thursday thoughts

just guzzled down a soy green tea latte. nummm...silk has come a long way!

almost halfway through week 1 of 6 to getting new couch.

never going to move within san francisco again if rents don't go down. even just looking is depressing.

cost of living increase (ie, raise) is officially 3%. we'll see what that means come the end of march, but that doesn't seem too significant.

looking into a couple cleanses. i think i'll be ordering something online, though, as i didn't see much at whole foods.

thai lime pilaf for lunch, but before that i think i'm going to try and go to the gym on my lunch hour, see how that goes time-wise.

a little annoyed with friends that think that myspace is a good place to email me. i feel that email is a good place to email me, or at least facebook will TELL me what the f*@# they said so i don't have to wait until the login volume goes down enough for me to check my messages.

march madness!

so, february was a pretty full month.

1. they hired a receptionist. this takes me off the front desk for most of the day; i cover her break, her 1/2 hour lunch, and 2 hours at the end of the day. this gives me hope.

2. vegan month was a huge hit! i feel so much healthier, and it's made eating interesting again! my new thought is to keep going with it until i get bored, and then figure out where to go from there. in the meantime, i'm gawking over veganyumyum.com, theppk.com, blog.fatfreevegan.com, and so many more...plus, the chemist in me's gotten really excited about translating foods from regular to vegan.

3. miami was very interesting. it makes me understand the south beach diet all the more. i'll go back, but next time i want to stay in the design district instead of the heart of south beach.

4. lost 4 more pounds, for a total of 14 (since mid-december; 2 1/2 months for those that don't want to do the numbers). i'm on track to be back to college weight by my birthday!

5. m got tired of our apartment again, except this time instead of just rearranging, he craigslisted our couch and the giant ikea desk. i'm stoked about the desk being gone, but replacing the couch is going to cost a lot more than we got for it. eh, whatever--it was going to happen eventually anyways.

6. so close to finishing henry. it's amazing what switching from english to continental style does for time! plus, i got a ton done during flights/layovers.

'sall for now...

no love for pilates

i came to a realization last night that sometimes, you just don't like something. i just don't like pilates. i feel pilates are for people who are too serious for aerobics, and not serious enough for yoga.

i took a class last night because *soooo* many people love it. and, to my surprise, i still hated it. i didn't feel like it was cardio enough to make up for the embarrassment of the awkward postures, it wasn't stretching enough to give you that yoga body high, and it wasn't long enough to burn as many calories as i burn on an elliptical machine in 30 minutes. i left thoroughly unsatisfied, and actually a bit upset.

but i've accepted the fact that i actually do *not* need to love pilates. pilates are not my thing, will probably never be my thing, and honestly, really never need to be done: there is a plethora of other exercises out there that i can do and feel good about afterwards. just like i really don't need to run on the treadmill anymore, because for some weird reason it gives me a sneeze attack.


and on a more positive note, being vegan rocks! i feel so good, so ridiculously healthy, and really don't miss meat (aside from fish). and the best part is, cooking has become endlessly entertaining for me. it's fun to have old passions re-enflamed...

fairweather vegan february

my goal for february is to do the month [almost] completely vegan.

what i hope to take out of it:
1. a greater awareness of what i'm eating
2. much more fiber in my diet
3. eliminate dairy products + excessive egg products
4. start cooking and bringing in lunches more often
5. overall health desires

in the meantime, i'm hungover and really craving fatty food. ugh.

2008 plans

january vacation hours: +4

vegan february (vitamins, soy, kombucha, and of course veggies! with a break in miami for ceviche.)

president's day in miami, feb 15-18

easter in yosemite, march 21-23

coachella, april 25-28

mom down for mother's day, may 10-12

memorial day weekend in bisbee, may 24-26

aids lifecycle, june 1-7

4th of july camping, july 4-6

avon breast cancer walk, july 12-13

birthday weekend, july 19-20

europe over labor day, august 30-sept 7

micaiah's bday weekend, nov. 1-2

thanksgiving in seattle, nov. 27-dec. 1

christmas in puerto vallarta, dec. 25-29

new year's weekend, jan 1-4

sara, no h

when you are feeling out of sorts,
like you are now,
you're in the mood for music of the angsty genre
(or grungy, circa high school years)
because for you unhappy is
hurt feelings, or guilt for putting something off
because you're always keeping busy all the time
not so much "need to control"
as a tendency for plugging holes
you just start filling in
where it's not being taken care of
and then branch out
whereas a lot of people float down life
not thinking about tomorrow
you've already done your 401k research
and you are writing down what i've said
saving up these lines for interviews

blah.

been sick.

working on henry. so slow going...packed it up into my purse, so hopefully i can do some on muni rides. swatched out the mermaid gloves (linked earlier), trying to pick a color, and reading people's knitting blogs trying to get reinspired in the knitting world.

it looks like it's going to be another rainy day. i hope i don't wish i'd worn my galoshes...i'm going to force myself to do a 1/2 hour workout today, just to ease back into the gym thing. plus, my appetite has been intense lately, and i want to be back at college weight so bad. (contrary to most people's experiences, i actually *lost* weight after leaving my mom's house. it's so much harder to be constantly eating when you have to walk a mile to get the food first.)

i need to write more.

amateurs wait for inspiration; artists create because they have to.

+/-

more writing less thinking
less listening more singing
more talking less cooing
less dreaming more doing
more forcing less flowing
less sitting more going
more planning less waiting
less looking more making
more smiling less faking
less dining more baking
more living less existing

again

i find myself not being a regular writer.

bad tina.

i've just been livin' the life. that is, if the life consists of a messy apartment, a whiny cat, and too much rain for a city that isn't seattle.

ogling knitting patterns:
different stiches
mermaid gloves
dragon scale gauntlets
elijah

and that's about it.

liza marie

the strongest woman
i've ever known
don't smoke the fucking cigarette from both ends
you'll wear out the sequins
that light up your eyes
there are too many reasons
for you not to
but liza marie
you and those toys
the sweet boys and your dreams
and the Chanel filled beens
of your happily-ever-after
you'll smoke the fucking cigarette from both ends
and smoke leaves you too

what a crazy way to start the new year.