mid-day tuesday

i had a dream last night that my mother had died. i was in a sprawling, never-ending mansion; i apparently knew my way around very well.

there was an old woman there in a victorian dress. she was talking to me about music, and played me a strange electronic song on her phonograph.

something in the chord progression, a repetition of notes in a minor key, reminded me of my mother's passing. i started sobbing,

uncontrollably, apologizing as i ran off to hide in a room full of moss, knowing i had to just let it come, just feel the emotions.

this morning when i woke up, the room was dark and i felt sad and unrested. my eyes were stinging from the tears i cried in my sleep.

supposedly, when you dream of someone you know dying, it means that they'll outlive you.

the sun is out now. i wish i could change my emotions as quickly as the weather changes hers.